Caribou Gone Daily News
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Thursday, 1 May, 2014
A recent occurrence has baffled the CGP leadership, a member of the small "Kings Air Force" has recently been credited with over 12 in his two day career in the air force of the CGRA. It has also been revealed that he is a serf! [Insert "Gasp!"] He has been flying the king's legitimate lands, fighting the proles. He is simply referred to as "Lord Flashheart," of course, the "Lord" part is just a joke. In an interview, he said "Woof!" and left playing annoying music. Who is this illusive person?
It is interesting to note the fact that the air force is flying missions for the CGP and will continue to protect the Provisional Student Government. When asked about his opinion on the PSG, he insightfully said "Woof! Woof! Gaughus, Woof!"
A party secretary said this about his statement: "Truly inspiring stuff, I agree with what he said about our victory."
He was also asked about his opinion on his becoming an ace, he said "Woof! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof! Woof!" Great stuff.
-This is as it was reported on CPR (Canadianese Public Radio.)
In other news, it's international Prole day Pwagh!
Will they ever stop! We declare that April 20-April 19th is aristocrat day!
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| Here is a photo of him in action, long live the aristocracy! |
A party secretary said this about his statement: "Truly inspiring stuff, I agree with what he said about our victory."
He was also asked about his opinion on his becoming an ace, he said "Woof! Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooof! Woof!" Great stuff.
-This is as it was reported on CPR (Canadianese Public Radio.)
In other news, it's international Prole day Pwagh!
Will they ever stop! We declare that April 20-April 19th is aristocrat day!
Wednesday April 16, 2014
BREAKING NEWS: A local Canadianese man has demanded for his small town to secede from the Greater Realm of Canadia. If he succeeded in seceding, Canadia may break itself up into small city states, thus, the King would have no true power when he takes power. This would be terrible for our movement, diminishing our strength, undermining sovereignty. Because we are all loyal to the king, we demand to the rulers of Canadia that they suppress this man like a very suppressed thing.
Tuesday April 15, 2014
BREAKING NEWS: Recently, a war was declared. This war was declared between Germany, Austro-Hungary and the Ottoman Empire on one side, and on the other, Britain, Russia and France. The cause is said to be an assassination of an archduke. This is a war between aristocrats, so we have no stake in the fight. In this conflict, we claim revolutionary defeatism. This is the position that this is not an important conflict to get involved in because it will not further the class struggle.
Monday April 14, 2014
Semi-Recent Foodstamps cut
Recently, the US gov't cut 8 billion dollars in necessary food stamps. This was signed by our current president. While before, one would have been given 1.50 dollars per meal, now, one will be given 1.40 dollars per meal. This may not seem like much, however, the money spent is now likely going to a less needed service. This is important because our current president is showing support for feudalism by taking money from the poor and likely giving it to the rich. Since he is doing this, we congratulate him, he is showing that he is almost as feudalist as Romney would have been. At first, the CGP thought that he may try to bring in some reforms, (Gasp!), but instead, he is moving society in the revolutionary feudalist direction. So congratulations to the US government for going closer to feudalism! May the Gods bless you with unbent spoons and good hair!Why would this help the feudalist cause?
Because people will have less money to spend on food, they will be forced to do labor for the rich, but because the rich support their own interests, they will pay their workers tiny amounts for lots of work, eventually, they will be able to cut wages completely to the point where the poor are living with the rich and doing their work for them.
Russia wants to annex Crimea!
We are pleased to be the first to announce the fact that our comrade Putin has recently tried to annex Crimea. This is a great example of a ruler taking power in nations that do not support autocracy. Autocrats support justice for their nations, thus, they want to expand into other nations where democracy is being demanded. Seeing that Putin supports traditional Russian values while the fascist/communist far right/far left wing governments of Europe want to turn the world into a social democracy where people can get medical care when they need it, which contradicts feudalist principles. Putin is making a stand against progress everywhere, maybe he will join us in our great leap backwards!
Why would this help the feudalist cause?
This would help our cause because an authoritarian yet slightly undeveloped nation like Russia is a perfect candidate for the position of ruling mainland Europe. Europeans need strong rules or else, they decay into moral frivolity where they will support extreme right/left wing politicians.
Why would this help the feudalist cause?
This would help our cause because an authoritarian yet slightly undeveloped nation like Russia is a perfect candidate for the position of ruling mainland Europe. Europeans need strong rules or else, they decay into moral frivolity where they will support extreme right/left wing politicians.
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