Catechism of the Insert Religion that would benefit me At the current Momentist Church (IRAMC)
To the great honor of Stergiosis and Sonfini, to the Great War God and to the Great Creator, we give honor, we Give praise. No other Gods but our four are real, but when we benefit, them we shall steal. Praise be to the Gods!
Somokaoaohd
On The Great Gods:
We as a religion believe that the Great Gods are as such: Sonfini, Stergiosis, The War God and The Great Creator. Both the War God and the Great Creator are not to be named in vain and so should colloquially be called Güd and Gœd. We also believe that if we would benefit from believing in other Gods, it is allowed.
Because in essence, our religion is very tolerant, we believe that the aesthetics of all religions should be used for our benefit.
As the Old Philosophers said, the only known that can be known is that the King is connected with the Gods. However, the Gods are unknowns themselves, the only people who utter the true names of Güd and Gœd are the Caribou, however, we must say to them Begone!
Five proofs of the existence of the Great Gods:
1. We say that they exist.
2. If you do not agree with us, you are not a supporter of party line.
3. If you are not a supporter of party line, you are not on this blog.
4. Either you do not support Party Line and are not on this site, or you do support Party Line and therefore are on this site and believe in the Great Gods.
5. If you pray to the Great Gods, you are assured that 50% of your prayers will be answered.
Because in essence, our religion is very tolerant, we believe that the aesthetics of all religions should be used for our benefit.
As the Old Philosophers said, the only known that can be known is that the King is connected with the Gods. However, the Gods are unknowns themselves, the only people who utter the true names of Güd and Gœd are the Caribou, however, we must say to them Begone!
Five proofs of the existence of the Great Gods:
1. We say that they exist.
2. If you do not agree with us, you are not a supporter of party line.
3. If you are not a supporter of party line, you are not on this blog.
4. Either you do not support Party Line and are not on this site, or you do support Party Line and therefore are on this site and believe in the Great Gods.
5. If you pray to the Great Gods, you are assured that 50% of your prayers will be answered.
The Words of the Great Gods:
"Åłwäÿš rįśę tø āñ ēärłÿ mëäł, büt ëät ÿøur fīłł bëfõrę ä fæ št. Ïf ÿöü'rē hūńgrÿ yœ hävē nõ time tõ tâlk ät the tâbłe." -Güd
1. Kill a Caribou if you see it.
2. Thou shalt not eat food from an overly bent spoon, like if the bend is more than 16 degrees, contact professional, you don't want the God's wrath.
3. Shmegen mic fiol. (can't be translated) (this is the unknown commandment and if you don't obey it, you'll go to hell, you can find it out, but first you have to go through a bunch of cool rituals that westerners invented to mimic eastern religion to look cool but not have any real meaning. If you don't go through the rituals right, like if you make a mistake, you won't know the commandment and you will be sent to hell.)
4. Worship any God with cool arms or a cool name and follow only half of the rituals, above all man, be cool, be cool, be cool.
5. Don't drink diet pepsi if the pepsi can comes from a grey vending machine.
6. Don't follow rule 5.
7. Don't kill people. (Maybe we should have put that higher on the list.)
8. Don't die while you can vote for our candidates.
9. Give the Great Gods money, oh wait! (Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!) You don't know who the Great Gods are, so just give the money to a member of the clergy.
10. Don't follow any commandments that affect your daily life.
11. Keep on living your life and Follow all the rules.
12. Thou shalt not eat of salad and dressing at 2:00 on the first day of the fourth month of the year during leap years.
Ways to Ward off demons:
1. Chant the esoteric Caribou mantra.
2. Learn the esoteric things that you can't learn.
3. don't be superstitious.
4. Believe in Gods that are cool and benefit you at the moment, they will bless you.
On salvation
The only way to be saved is to obey the 12 commandments. To disobey them is to send oneself into hell. Hell is like a place where hippies eat the salad on the wrong day at the wrong time. Where all ze food is fake and the word of Güd is defied. Güd will not say hello, instead Mahta will cut you open and put sour worms to replace your innerds. All that you will bring yourself to say will be "Méïn Göht!" The Nicosian people, led by Güt though will find salvation, they shall go to the land of the Aristo where the blessings rein and nothing means anything.
ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC! ESOTERIC!
On Holy War or Gahan
When people disbelieve in the church, they must be run through. They must never see the light, they must acknowledge their wrongs. Güd shall destroy them with his war hammer, praise Güd!
Exposition on the errors in logic
Or: Is logic logically viable? A logical explanation of why logic is illogical
1st
Logic is the use of valid reasoning. Reasoning is the employment of reason, thinking in a systematic and truthful way. Because this is true, it can be said that logic is made of two parts: 1.system and 2. truth. Proponents of logic would claim that the system leads to truth, however it is safer to say that the two parts rely on each other.
Logic is often considered to be the highest form of attaining truth, therefore, other forms of attaining truth are checked by being compared to logic. If this is true, it could be said that logic is the only way of attaining truth. In this exposition, the aim is to prove that 1. logic is not logically viable and that 2. Truth is independent of reasoning.
2.1 Analysis of system
As pointed out earlier, logic is made from two things, 1. system and 2. truth. Here, I'll discuss system. There are many systems for logic, but here, I'll deal with a basic method of thinking: if A is true and B is true, C must be true. This claim is central to logic in many ways, and all forms of logic are expansions of this.
An example: If all things need to be created, and all things cannot be created by a moose, all things must be created by something that is not a moose. This would seem obvious, in this case, logic uses it's system to get to truth. Though this is true, the ABC system does not always work, like in this case: "What I am saying is a lie." One can reduce it to A. If something is being said is a lie, and B. what is being said is that what is being said is a lie, C. What is being said is that what is being said is not true. The earlier statement is in fact not solvable by logic because what is being said is a paradox. This means that not all things can be understood with the ABC formula because the one earlier is not at all logical.
This means that there are more than one system of attaining truth.
2.2 Analysis of Truth
What is true, is true. This statement is true, i.e., truth is always there. Truth is in fact the only thing that is unprovable, yet real. This means that all things that are fact are fact independent of what logic dictates. This means that the two are in fact independent. If this is true, what is said earlier about logic is not necessarily because some things that are logical are not true.
3 Criticism of logic
Because it has been established that reasoning and truth are separate, it can be said that the system falls apart. Because the system of reasoning falls apart when something is puzzling, it can be said that reasoning is ineffective. This means that systematic thought is no more truthful than non-systematic thought, as long as both seek truth.
(Work in progress)
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