Caribou Gone Expositions on Science S1, E1
On the racial classification of animals;
Exposition On The Racial Classification of Bird Species
-Issued by the Shamist People’s College-joint venture by the Philosophy/Theology and Biology departments.
Intro:
This was written by the Shamist Society for Proper Management as a resource on science for the education of all people, animals and serfs. The main issue is the classification of birds, and why this is why they should be classified this way. This text was commissioned as a joint venture, as to add both philosophy and science to produce a rational understanding of animals, namely birds. It is the first part of a series of writings on the world to help the people understand issues in science, philosophy and religion.
Opening:
The natural world is made up of complex relationships between beasts. These relationships work to both divide and unite beasts, creating certain castes or species. These castes can be looked at as furred animals, feathered animals, scaled animals, small animals, elongated animals, greened animals, skinned animals and human animals. Furred animals and human animals are the most intelligent animals, awarded with a soul by the great creator.
Here are the noticeable roles for those types of animals:
Furred animals: Furred animals along with humans are the most intelligent animals. They also provide us with food because they serve us. (dogs, lions, cats)
Feathered animals: feathered animals are the most complicated type because they have the capacity for flight. Much effort has been put into finding a reason for flight. The main theory, which is also the most realistic is that their flight exists to allow them to transport small animals, the least intelligent moving animals. Feathered animals work as transportation for small animals. Feathered animals need air to fly. (eagles, doves)
Scaled animals: Scaled animals are very diverse. They live under the blue firmaments, moving as do drones. Study suggests that they are in fact filled with air, yet have no thinking capabilities. The air, might be the reason that feathered animals seek them as food, the best theory on this is that scaled animals are soulless drones that act as an air source for feathered animals. (fish, sharks, octopuses, dolphins)
Small animals: Small animals are the least intelligent animals besides greened and scaled animals (who are thoughtless drones). The only way that they can move is by being transported by feathered animals, who are demonstrably more intelligent. This can be proven by showing that small animals are not edible, yet feathered animals inhale them, likely to transport them. (ants, spiders)
Elongated animals: Elongated animals exist mainly to slither. The best theory is that the creator made them from a piece of grass to show his judgement on those who he dislikes. (Snakes)
Greened animals: Greened animals do not move. They stay in place and provide food for other animals, in essence they are drone-like martyrs. (Trees, grass)
Skinned animals: Skinned animals are also thoughtless drones who act as air-pockets for birds. (Frogs, lizards)
Human animals: Human animals are the only animals who can think and suffer, they are covered in skin and can eat all animals, thus they are the king of animals.
Serfs: Serfs are the lowest life-forms because they have no value and cannot be eaten. Investigations have tried to figure whether they can think or not, also whether they may serve animals, seeing that animals serve humans. (There will be an exposition on serfs in the series.) They likely have no soul, but not enough research has been done to prove this true or false.
Focus questions:
(1.) How do birds work, do they(?), (2.) do they distinguish(?),
and if they do, (3.) how should they be classified?
Question #1 - answered;
Preliminary notes:
- Birds are feathered, we can see that they are feathered when we look at them, catch them, kill them, look at them closer, and live in them.
- It is believed that feathers serve the bird in producing flight. We know this as when they fly, we see their feathers. Also feathers are very dynamic and light when dropped from a high tree, building, mountain, or bird.
- From the fact that they fly regularly, it can be rightly assumed that they are doing something. In doing something that is regular to them it seems highly unlikely that this is a irregular occurrence and that this is not how they work. Therefore, if they don’t not work then they must logically work.
- Seeing that they fly, they must have a reason to do so.
- Feathers do not fly on their own, neither do birds, therefore another element must enter into the equation.
- Birds eat skinned animals and scaled animals. Scientists have said that they do not eat small animals, but instead, house them and transport them because they are not intelligent enough to do so themselves.
- Birds have different essences and colorations, therefore there must be different types.
1st Explanation;
- Birds wear feathers which have evolved from the ancient scales of the dinosaur’s, their ancestors. Once more, we know this because we looked. Comparing scientifically fossilized dinosaur remains with specimens of the modern birds. This makes sense.
- When studied closely, one finds that the bird as we see it is not the true body of the bird, but merely a thick outer layer, greatly expanding the size of the bird. Without this additional layer of feathers, birds would be of a most pitiful size and shape. This added body span, of such little additional weight to the bird, supports the animal in flight.
- If they are alive, then, in all likelihood, they are in at least some way; working. It seems unlikely that the birds purpose in life is; not to exhibit life.
- Flying is an effective means of transportation which is used in such happenings as the birds flying; from nest to feeding location, from the first snowflakes of winter and back again once the snow is gone, and for fun.
- Neither feathers nor birds fly without the other; wit is necessary for the birds to be of a light weight for flight to be achieved.
- The eating of skinned and scaled animals gives the birds energy. Energy is an essential factor in flight. Flight is an essential factor in the transportation of small animals. We do not know what the transportation of small animals is an essential factor of.
- If the birds; sound different, breed different, act different, fly different, live different, move different, grow different, and look different, than they are probably different. Groups of similar birds, which are not different from each other but all the other birds, are known as; families, genus’, and species [in a descending amount of variation].
2nd Explanation
-Birds have feathers to clothe themselves, like humans, otherwise, they’d be unclothed, which is not morally acceptable to bird society. Furthermore, birds fly. To fly, they need to be light, to be light, they clothe themselves with light materials like their feathers. Therefore, feathers act as one of the three needed materials for flight; feathers, body, and another needed element, which we’ll investigate later in the explanation.
-Birds fly. Feathers act as one of the three needed elements, but the other elements are needed. Neither a nude bird, nor a feather can fly alone. A bird adds the possibility for movement, feathers add aerodynamics and clothing for the bird to both keep warm and to keep from being naked.
-Birds produce eggs. Eggs are a food source, therefore, they do work. Furthermore, it is known that birds also carry small animals to destination, similar to a taxi. Because we see birds doing both activities, it is true that they do work in the human sense. Furthermore, since they fly and are able to move, they likely also work in the mechanical sense.
-Birds fly because they act as carriers for lesser beings like rodents, mice, ants, worms, sheep, etc. This is true, because it can be observed that they do in fact take these beings. There are not many rodents, mice, ants, worms or sheep, so it can be assumed that birds carry them so that they can do what they need to do. (Mayhem et. al.).
-This is perhaps one of the more complex issues in the exposition. The Philosopher has noted (De anima 413a23) that there is a natural hierarchy in activities for the soul: 1.Growth, nutrition, 2. Locomotion, perception, 3. Intellect. Birds are known to be involved in 1. and 2., however only humans do the third. He also adds that there are three degrees of soul: 1.Nutritive soul (plants), 2. Sensitive soul (all beasts), 3.Rational soul (humans). Beasts have a sensitive soul: they move, but they do not reason. According to our research, it is likely that scaled and small are also only given a nutritive soul. Scaled animals do not make noises and cannot move in an intelligent manner and small animals likely also do not possess reason, seeing that they move without intelligence into cars. (If the Philosopher had a car or a lawn, he’d know this too). Since plants have nutritive souls that do not permit them to move, it is assumed that they act simply as a source of sustenance in some way. Scaled and small animals also do not move intelligently or show any signs of intelligence, so it’s likely that they also act as a source of sustenance as their primary role in the animals kingdom. The animals that eat the most fish are feathered animals, indicating that they have a special need for scaled animals. Research also suggests that scaled and skinned animals are in fact “air pockets,” allowing them to move so stupidly in the water. This means that feathered animals must be eating scaled animals for air. The two known elements needed for flight are 1. the Bird and 2. Feathers. As science has proven, feathers act as clothes for the bird. Because feathered animals eat air, the air must be the third element. Therefore flight has three components: 1. the Bird, 2. Feathers, and 3. Air.
-Feathers are the main difference that different types of birds show. The visible difference is coloration, same as humans. Seeing that this is true, birds must act similarly in relation to coloration that humans do. Seeing that humans are racist and use coloration to discriminate, this also can be said of birds: Birds have races, and because birds are not as clever as humans, they must still discriminate-Birds are racists and should be treated as such. This is the main subject of this exposition.
Answer to question 2:
Preliminary notes:
-Birds have different colorations, these coloration denote both different varieties and different genders.
-The differences in coloration seem to relate to geography in some cases (snowy owl), while in other cases, this cannot be shown to be true (pelican, cardinal, bunting; where the coloration gives no particular benefit).
-Humans can be racists. More educated humans are generally less racist. Birds are not as intelligent as humans, seeing that they have no intellect, so cannot by nature be educated at all, even less likely; more educated than any particular man.
-Birds may classify each other by race.
-If they do, it may cause tensions.
1st Explanation:
- Birds are distinguishable by both shape and coloration. These distinctions prove that their are different types of birds.
- It is scientifically proven that humans, when uneducated, are racist and xenophobic.
- When humans are educated they are not racist.
- Birds, lacking intellect, cannot be educated.
- If Birds cannot be educated, than they are not educated.
- Science has shown that the lesser the creature is, the more prone to unethical behavior they are.
- Birds are lesser beings than humans, and they lack an education, therefore it can be said that birds have racial divisions.
- This racism can be seen in an average birds social behavior.
- Songbirds, in particular the more colorful species, are commonly seen to harass resting raptors, all of whom are of a brownish hue ... this is clearly racism!
- Birds are also known to create a nesting colony with others of the same species, or with species of very similar species ... the do not nest near birds distinctively unlike itself!
- It can be said, therefore, that birds are racist and xenophobic.
2nd Explanation:
- There is great variation in plumage color of birds.
- It is shown that, when a bird sees a differently colored bird, the bird will recognize that the other individual is unlike itself.
- It is known that living animals, universally, believe themselves to be perfect and others imperfect (take for example; man and animal, dog and cat...).
- Therefore, when an individual is seen as different than that individual will be thought of as lesser.
- An individual being thought of as lesser, is racism.
Answer to question 3:
Preliminary notes:
- Birds are racist.
- When individuals are racist, than they often use derogatory language when referring to the disrespected ethnicity.
- Birds should be classified by their own designation standards, for example the Killdeer’s [Charadrius vociferus] call is a harsh “kill-deer, kill-deer”, obviously the bird is repeating his name over and over again (that is why it is called a Killdeer).
- Therefore, if it can be assumed that from fowl to owl, all birds use foul names for other species (particularly birds of unlike appearance to itself).
- We cannot properly translate into English all bird calls, so we must replicate the insulting names by comparison with the human standards of racist labels.
- Identifying birds by race, serves to eliminate the wasting of time by naturalists who have to memorize the names, field marks, range, and habits of thousands of species.
- With our revolutionary system, birds can be identified instantly and little study need be devoted to them, as there are, in North America, only 21 known bird species.
- We need not concern ourselves with the behavior of individual birds, but should study only at the species level (as this saves time).
1st Explanation:
- Birds are recognized as racist.
- Humans that are racist use derogatory and foul language when referring to the disrespected individual.
- Humans are educated and have intellect, birds are not educated and have no intellect.
- Creatures with less education are generally more prone to the use of insulting language.
- Birds being uneducated, they are therefore; likely to use racist language.
- Birds should be recognized to the species level as accurately as possible.
- What can be more accurate than using the titles birds give each other, these labels imply more about the individuals than any english or latin names.
- Therefore, we supply a handy key to identifying the 21 North American species, including exotics, in racial terms which appear to adequately compare to the racial slurs of the birds.
2nd Explanation:
- Many top-notch scientists have spent years organizing and observing the thousands of recognized bird species.
- This is scientifically proven to be a waste of time.
- Why do we need to know about the habits of all these unimportant species?
- It surely appears obvious that we should simplify the study that is ornithology significantly.
- We can do this by classifying birds at a much less detailed level.
- The most reasonable way of defining the species should be classifying birds by; rane and coloration.
- As we have shown, birds classify each other by range and coloration, and refer to the separate species with racially derogatory terms.
- Therefore, for the sake of science, we should group birds by range and coloration at a broader level.
- We should refer to these broader species with racial slurs as it gives us a better understanding of the mental workings of the bird - we must lower ourselves to the birds level to know them fully.
Key to the North American Bird Races;
1. Originated in;
South - 2.
North - 3.
Middle - 4.
Elsewhere - 5.
2. Color;
Dark - Southern Negro Bird - Rubercervix nigeri
Light - Cracker Bird - Rubercervix candidi
Both - Southern Mulatto Bird - Rubercervix nigerusalbque
Other
- Blue - Pig Bird - Rubercervix porkus
- Red - Injun Bird - Rubercervix ethnicus
3. Color;
Dark - Northern Negro Bird - Liberatus nigerus
Light - Yankee Bird - Liberatus candidus
Both - Northern Mulatto Bird - Liberatus nigerusalbque
Other
- Blue - Pig Bird - Liberatus porkus
- Red - Savage Bird - Liberatus ethnicus
4. Color;
Dark - Central Negro Bird - Fatuus nigeri
Light - Central Cracker Bird - Fatuus candidi
Both - Southern Mulatto Bird - Fatuus nigerusalbque
Other
- Blue - Pig Bird - Fatuus porkus
- Red - Heathen Bird - Fatuus ethnicus
5. Color;
Dark - Foreign Negro Bird - Alius nigeri
Light - Frenchie Bird - Alius candidi
Both - Foreign Mulato Bird - Alius nigerusalbque
Other
- Blue - Pig Bird - Alius porkus
- Yellow - Oriental Bird - Alius aurei
- Red - Angry Bird - Alius iratus
- Other light - Foreiner Burd - Alius forenus
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